


Everything I Did Tell You

by jeonginvevo



Category: Everything I Never Told You - Celeste Ng
Genre: Celeste Ng, Everything I Never Told You, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-09-05 20:32:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16817944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeonginvevo/pseuds/jeonginvevo
Summary: man i dont knOW





	Everything I Did Tell You

Jack Wolff had never intended on stumbling into the craze of ‘falling in love.’ He hadn’t planned any of this. If he had, or if he could’ve, really, Jack would have chosen Lydia as his beloved, why wouldn’t he? Lydia Lee was approximately the human embodiment of perfection: she had the looks, she had the personality, and clearly, she held a romantic interest in Jack, judging by the sweet kiss they’d shared. The problem here, however, is the issue with family. In this sense, the ‘issue’ was none other than Lydia’s own flesh and blood, the Lee family. 

Sure, James and Marilyn Lee had produced an angel-faced prodigy who wafted an aura of total excellence—but that’s all it was, an aura. Lydia Lee was not perfect by any means, she knew it, Jack knew it, and eventually even her family learned to realize that their flawless child was enveloped in a life of flaws, to which they would discover upon finding out the provided news of their daughter’s death just a year prior to now. 

There’s a distinct memory of the judging stares and glares the family received from the word of her passing, Jack vividly remembers all of it. He recalls how the town watched with bored eyes while Marilyn stood tall and strong, refusing to believe the truth of her daughter’s suicide, the looks in everyone’s eyes speaking more than a few times louder than anything they could ever say aloud in that moment; how none of the nearby neighbors commented whilst they watched James’ vehicle trail along the street to Louisa’s home once again, yet the moment all of the Lee’s were out of sight, the gossip of the affair going on spread like wildfire to everyone but the family themselves; how even the youngest of the children around laughed and played with glee and joy previous to their realization of Hannah, the youngest of the Lees’ presence, the loud and wild laughter melting away into nothingness as they finally noticed the sister of the ‘dead girl’ standing in the premises of their play area. 

And then there was Nath. Oh, that Nathan Lee. The same Nath who’d hated Jack ever since they were just young kids. The Nath who repeatedly, over and over cornered and blamed his enemy for his little sister’s death. The Nath who refused to believe—no matter how many times he was reminded of it—that his lifelong opponent had no ties to Lydia now being gone. The Nath who plunged his fist repeatedly into the face of Jack for moments and moments on end, movements only ceasing once the scarring sound of wails and cries from Hannah began to echo in his ear. 

Nathan Lee, Jack’s first and only love. 

Aside from himself, of course, Lydia turned out to be the first to know of this secret, although it certainly wasn’t intended. The now ghost-like feel of her lips pressed against his still runs through his mind on occasion. Jack still holds a lifelike memory of how he’d pulled away from the kiss gently, face painted with a primal emotion of remorse. The memoir of how Lydia’s own facial features morphed into an overall theme of confusion, and eventually the consciousness of knowing what the comment about how Nath matters to him truly meant. The rejection of the situation may as well have been a sign planted on her back, the look on her features showing how this event, compiled alongside a number of other elements, would later become a product of why Lydia resulted in drowning herself in the lake in the early morning the following day. 

Jack is sure that if he was ever gifted the chance to go back and change things for a different outcome, one without Lydia ending up dead this time, he would jump at the offer. 

Except he can’t. Lydia is gone, and that’s that. Thus, he’s left with only one more option: confession. Jack could lie and continue to move on with his life, play a card of innocence and pretend to have never participated in this terrible incident, of course he could do that. That’ll always be a choice. That’s the thing, though. He could, meaning there’s a more than one possibility in this situation, an alternative. Jack knows which would be easier, but he’s also more than aware of which is correct, too. The Lees deserve to know of the role he acted in the suicide of their daughter. Marilyn and James deserve to know. Hannah deserves to know. Nath deserves to know. 

Even if it is a year later. 

That view stands tall and clear in mind as it circles Jack’s thoughts, the motivational words repeating in his head while he musters up just enough courage to swallow his pride and trudge up the Lees’ front steps, feet planted right before the front door. Marilyn responds to the knock with a polite smile—false, most likely—watching as Jack only pushes past her into their home, heading for the stairs. He glances over to Hannah and her father in the kitchen, the young girl eagerly sipping at her unknown juice, probably, while James stands at the sink, scrubbing away at a smudged platter with a dish washing sponge. Both notice as their sandy-haired neighbor heads up their staircase, joining Marilyn in the silence alongside raised eyebrows from confusion. 

Jack knows that Nath is home. It’s his second year at Harvard, yes, but it’s also spring break for those who’ve managed to make it to college, or a real one, anyway. Jack himself, however, while he does attend a nearby community university, he’s not even nearly as invested in school as much as Nath is, although that’s not exactly surprising. The two boys have always been different, this new addition of school concern doesn’t change much. 

There’s not even a knock on the door, or any type of warning as Jack barges into the other boys’ bedroom, eyes filled to the brim with melancholy clearer than a glass window. Nath yelps at the sudden noise, flying up from his desk in surprise. He scans for the source of the intruder, eyes narrowing while the infuriation within him surges and bubbles with growth by the second. “What are you doing here?” Nath inquires aloud, although the question appears to be more in the form of a threat, it seems. His speaking tone is harsh, rough, not even the slightest sense of regret hidden within the lines somewhere. 

The two haven’t spoken since the incident. The one where Nath’s punches and hits had broken the nose of Jack, yes. The player wasn’t mad at all, however. In fact, he understood the anger. He too, if he were in the ‘shoes’ of Nath, so to speak, would have done just the same thing. Actually, to tell the complete and honest truth, Jack wasn’t sure if he would have even been able to stop, so really, he still held Nathan to a higher standard than himself here. 

“I need—I need to tell you something. You have to know this.” Jack mutters, stepping inside of the room and gently closing the door behind him in the case of any eavesdropping taking place by the Lee family downstairs. He notices the fist that clenches from the other boy, gulping down his nerves as he starts to speak and explain. “I...” Jack begins, words he had prepared to breathe out suddenly tumbling down his throat while he gazes into Nath’s chestnut shade of eyes. The last time he was this close to the other, the last time he was able to observe the intelligent boy before him like he is now, the situation ended with both a broken facial structure, as well as a shattered heart. 

Jack gulps again. 

“You, I, I feel... God, Nathan Lee, I’m in love with you.” Nath doesn’t even know where to begin explaining the feeling of how taken aback he is in this moment. Jack continues on with his words, eager to finish so he can get on with the notorious beating he’ll be enduring soon enough. “I don’t know why, really. You never liked me—though I don’t blame you. I’m a player, my entire ‘vibe’ in high school was defined by my habit of taking plenty of virginities. You, though, Nath... it was all because of you. I didn’t, I wasn’t sure how to deal with this crush,” The word rolls off Jack’s tongue with hesitance, “But it was all only a façade. I never felt the same with any of those girls like I felt about you, 

“And I know, I’m not supposed to feel this way about you, or any boy, for that matter, but I just can’t help it. You know, Lydia, she... she liked me. She actually kissed me the day before...” He trails, deciding to start steering away from the sensitive subject as Nath’s face brushes into a slightly red, furious color. “But I didn’t kiss back! I swear to you, Nath, I could never... you already hate me enough, I don’t think I would be able to deal had you despised me.” An odd feeling runs down Nathan’s spine as he struggles to recognize the foreign emotion that he’s suddenly experiencing. Was that guilt? Nath wonders internally, eyes widening as his thought expands. Guilt for... Jack? 

Said sandy-haired boy has gone quiet now, not exactly knowing what to say as he’s just observed the newest facial expression of confusion evident on the Chinese male’s appearance. Nath glances up after a moment of silence, realizing that he’s the reason for this from the concerned stare by Jack. “So, you didn’t... you two didn’t—?” Nathan cannot even complete his thought as the words catch in his throat, the muffled sound adapting into a choked, almost-sob that he struggles to hold back, vulnerability seeping through his tough mask he’s been wearing since forever. 

Jack’s quick to deny at the sounds, head frantically shaking as he responds, “No, oh god, of course not. I couldn’t do that to Lydia. I couldn’t... I couldn’t do that to you, Nath.” He murmurs, urging yet another wail to slip from between the brown-eyed boy’s lips. Nath takes a step forward, a shaky sigh falling from his mouth while he starts to speak. “I knew.” The Harvard student utters, the volume of his words not even exceeding the limit of what one would consider to be a whisper. “I knew about you being... in love,” 

A hum of surprise urges from Jack’s mouth as he tries to wrap his head around this new information. “I... you... what? How could you?” He manages to stutter out without completely showing how truly jumbled his mind was. Nath moans again, weakly explaining, “Lydia. It was her, she... she tried to tell me, even wrote a note, but it was torn into pieces when I found it... I don’t know how, but the detectives missed it when they searched her room, so I, well, you know...” 

Jack can’t help what happens next, he can’t hold back the cry that rips through his trap, the wail echoing throughout the room as he falls to his knees in agony. The boy breaks into full on sobs, not a thought in mind of how he’s clearly crying before his enemy right now. In fact, Jack seems to forget of Nath’s existence there until he feels a body lean into his side lightly, followed by the sound of muffled whimpers as Nathan cries too, right there beside him. The two sit there for what seems like forever, just until their puffy eyes and wet cheeks have calmed and they’ve gone quiet after all of that weeping. 

Finally, after about what feels like an hour or two, Nathan quietly speaks. “Jack? Can I um... can I tell you something?” He queries near silently. The Wolff boy only nods, words not a selection of communication in this moment. Nath, not thinking of what will happen next, or how they’ll deal with this, resumes, “I think... I think I’m in love with you too, Jack.” He mumbles, and the male with sandy hair sits up in shock. He stares in shock, eyes feeling wider than saucers as he moves to cup Nath’s cheeks. With no words spoken, as actions are louder than words, Jack leans towards the other, slowly pressing his lips to Nath’s forehead and pulling the boy even closer to him, as if they never want to lose each other. 

And in that moment, that’s all that these two could ever want. Each other.


End file.
